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  • Things I Whisper to Myself While Dealing Cards So I Don’t Scream

    You ever deal for six hours straight and start questioning whether you’re even made of atoms anymore? No? Just me? 🌠🎴🌠🎴🌠🎴🌠🎴🌠🎴🌠🎴🌠🎴🌠🎴 This is what it’s like inside my head behind the table, after the fifth “can you smile?” and the third person in a row asks if it’s my first day because I’m not throwing…

  • how slot machines actually work (and why your aunt is very, very wrong)

    You ever hear someone say, “ugh, that machine was about to hit, I could feel it…” First of all: no, you couldn’t.Second: that’s not a vibe, it’s a fantasy.Third: let’s talk about why. Because here’s the truth: most people don’t know how slot machines work. Not your drunk uncle, not that one coworker who claims…

  • The Sins of the Felt According to gabro

    Let me paint the scene:The cards are flying, the chips are stacked, the energy is electric… and then someone ruins the entire vibe by licking their fingers before grabbing their cards. 😤 Welcome to The Sins of the Felt. This isn’t a polite rules list from the back of a pamphlet. This is the gospel…

  • How I Survived Graveyard Shift (And Thrived): Dealer Edition

    Let’s be real: working graveyard isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s for the weirdos, the night warriors, the folks who know the best part of the casino happens after midnight. The suits are gone. The air gets thicker. The neon hits different. And if you’re not careful, the schedule will absolutely swallow your soul.…

  • The Pomeranian That Tried to Double Down

    Yes, a lapdog barked at a dealer. No, security wasn’t helpful. Also, how do you ban a dog from a casino? It was a Tuesday (my “Friday”), still getting used to the rhythms of day shift. You know the vibe, 4:12 PM on the clock, but your soul is trapped in an infinite baccarat loop.…