The Lies Dealers Tell (And Why We Say Them with a Smile)

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“Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.” (Exodus 20:16)

Sure, but I’m pretty sure that commandment didn’t account for eight hours of standing on your feet with flashing lights, screaming gamblers, and a lady demanding to speak to security because the roulette ball ‘felt rigged.’

As dealers, sometimes (often?), we lie.

Not big lies. Not IRS-level lies.
Just sweet, smooth, pit-approved dealer white lies: the kind you say with a smile so fake it deserves its own SAG card. The kind that hold the casino society together. The kind that stop a man from flipping the table because he forgot how blackjack works.

Let’s confess, shall we?

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1. “The Camera Saw It”

Translation: You’re wrong, and I’m not starting a damn courtroom scene over five dollars.

We use this line like it’s the final word from some infallible god in the ceiling.
In reality? No one is reviewing that footage unless you set the table on fire or steal a purple chip with your butt cheeks.

But it works. It settles nerves. Players stop arguing. You stay sane.

We say it because it feels official.
And if everyone believes the eye in the sky confirmed it 💥boom💥 dispute over.
Game on.

2. “That Was Close!”

Translation: You lost. Badly. But let’s not make it weird.

You didn’t almost win. You weren’t even in the same area code as the winning number.
But I’m going to hit you with a cheerful “That was close!” because you need it.

It’s like when a tone-deaf contestant finishes their song and the judge says, “That was… memorable.” It was. But we’re not here to cause a breakdown on a Tuesday.

3. “New Dealer, New Luck!”

Translation: I don’t know what just happened here, but let’s all pretend a vibe shift is coming.

This one’s practically scripted. Players say it. We say it. Everyone nods like the universe is about to reshuffle its cosmic playlist.

And sure, maybe I walk in and the table instantly tanks. Maybe I deal myself three Blackjacks in a row. Maybe I trip over a player’s stool and apologize to the chair.

It doesn’t matter.

We all act like the dealer change is magical, because it gives people hope.
Even if the real reason you’re losing is that you keep splitting tens like it’s a good idea.

4. “I Don’t Make the Rules”

Translation: I’ve explained this 600 times already and I’m running out of nice ways to say it.

I guess this one’s not actually a lie but it’s worth mentioning.

Sometimes a rule makes sense, like not taking cards off the table.
Other times, it’s so weirdly specific you start to question whether this place was designed by raccoons with a copy of Casino Procedures for Dummies.

Either way, I’m not arguing. I’ll just say, “I don’t make the rules,” and flash that dealer smile that says, Please stop asking why the field only pays double on the 2.

I know. It’s weird.
Let’s move on.

5. “It Happens All the Time”

Translation: You just did something truly questionable, but I want you to feel okay about it.

You dropped your chips. You forgot your players card. You bet wrong.
Or you asked if we validate parking on Fremont Street. (I deal at a casino on the Strip. 😂)

Instead of roasting you (tempting), I’ll say “Happens all the time!” because you’re a human, and this place already drains your soul fast enough.

This line is a customer service classic.
Not true? Maybe.
But kind? Absolutely.

Final Thoughts

These lies aren’t meant to trick anyone. They’re survival tactics.
A little misdirection to keep the night from spiraling.

Because the truth is:

• No, that bet wasn’t close.

• No, the camera probably didn’t see it.

• No, your luck won’t change with me.

But if believing it helps you smile and stay in the game without slamming your players card like a toddler with a tablet,
then hey…

I’ll lie. And I’ll mean it.

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If this post made you laugh, nod, or whisper “damn, I’ve said that,” tip your friendly neighborhood truth-bender. 🎭

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Remember to always 🔗hazlo con responsabilidad.

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Dealer Secrets: What We Really Think at the Table Lo Que Realmente Es Ser Crupier en un Casino (Pista: No Son Solo Traguitos Gratis y Glamour) When the Chips Are Down: A Love Letter to the Ones Who Stay Too Long PART 2/3: The Smile Factory Things I Whisper to Myself While Dealing Cards So I Don’t Scream What Is Blackjack? (And Why Everyone Is Obsessed)